05/14/2014 § Leave a comment
I’m having trouble keeping up with this journal, so Im just going to write down a few of the highlights:
Stupid Letter from my Auntie! My Narci Moms twin sister; they’re both 84 going on 85. If my moms a narci, what does that make her? I dont know. Anyway, she keeps reaching out to me to come back into the fold, the whole dysfunctional mess, and when I say I dont want to she doesnt even hear it. Because she’s been pushing, I made the case in my last letter that knowing what I know about my mother, I’m carrying a burden and if she wants to keep reaching out to me she has to share it with me. Shes not having any of it. So it comes down to this, how do I ditch her? I can’t explain myself any better, she willfully doesnt want to understand my explanations, so I either have to drop something really offensive on her to scare her away, or just stop writing to her and not read her letters, without explanation. The latter way is best. But let me tell you, being reminded to what degree they all wash their hands of me is vexing. Vexing! « Read the rest of this entry »
05/06/2014 § Leave a comment
I would rather go running right now than go to this classical music concert, but my landlord is in the choir and Ive been planning to see this for half a year.
Mr.Nakanaka sang tenor in Carmina Burana by Carl Orff in the community orchestra choir today. It starts and ends with the song O Fortuna, for which a few years ago Rachel Maddow said it had become the theme song for a lot of apocalyptic anti-Obamacare commercials. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/04/2014 § Leave a comment
I just typed a whole journal with the modem off, and when I published it I lost it! Gotta type it all again.
Today a busy day. Leave house 8:00, Coffee shop at 9:30, Employment office at 10:00, therapist at 1, doctor at 3, all in different parts of the Tokyo Kanto Plain. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/02/2014 § Leave a comment
Today I am remembering my panic. I can’t breath. I have to breathe consciously. But when I try, I just space out and forget to breathe all over again– my ADD symptoms kick in. I go under:
On a high cliff over the sea,
A tree thinks.
One by one thoughts slip from her
deep into the icy brine, « Read the rest of this entry »