09/27/2015 § 1 Comment
This is the first post Ive entered in almost a year. I dont know what I’m going to say. I used to believe that I was a very open, honest and sincere person, but the person I thought I was, it turns out, was a contrivance. My real self has been trapped inside a fishbowl inside my mind. I was finally freed from it a year ago. .I no longer have any idea who I am.
I live in the same house, I wear the same clothes, I have the same scant career, the same poverty. Its whats interior that has changed.
I made “sacred vows” to myself three times in the course of my life. I vowed to find and overcome the source of some great dissatisfaction when I was 12, then again when I was 18, and again at 32, For the past 4 years I’ve had the answers. Last month I turned 60. I begin my 6th decade starting all over again from scratch.
4 years ago, I discovered that my mother was/is a Narcissist of epic proportions; that she set up our family to attack each other in order to protect herself; and that she made me her private decoy at a very young age so that any criticism of her would always stick on me instead. Finally, I discovered that I too am a Narcissist. « Read the rest of this entry »