05/27/2014 § Leave a comment
I left the agency office with a job Monday evening, but the job started the next day.
I didn’t like that.
I go home and prepare my suit and papers and get ready. Gotta be at the big meeting all with all the other ALTs the next day at 8:45 am.
I did my yoga, and meditation, and prayer. I wanted to do a lot more. This wasn’t how I wanted it. This wasn’t a Quantum Leap. This was the same old shitty job. But I was going to get my visa sponsorship right away.
When I got there, I immediately started seeing people I didn’t want to see. My old co-teacher I got along with horribly. And there was the head of the BoE, Mr. Hato. Surely he heard bad stories from her.
My new co-teacher seemed really nice. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/27/2014 § Leave a comment
Out of the Frying Pan edition
The crisis is averted, for now. Another has begun, potentially. I have a job, theoretically. I have a visa sponsor. It is my old employer from 3 years ago. Funnyboffo City Board of Education, the organization that traumatized me 3 years ago. Welcome Back!
The day after I got the interview appointment was a Saturday; I went to see my therapist. “Dont put all your eggs in one basket” she says. Fair enough. Im going to follow through on my other job leads and not just count on this one job interview to solve all my problems. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/24/2014 § Leave a comment
The one about the good job offering.
Oh, wow, a lot has happened. A lot of nothing.
This was a Friday. I went into Tokyo, went for a dentist’s appointment, on the way back stopped off at an Asian food store that sells Filipino, Chinese, Indian and Thai foods, bought some red lentils and mung beans for myself, a jar of chili-pepper paste for a new Chinese friend of mine who can’t get the good stuff here in Japan.
Back on the train platform, I see a missed a phonecall on my cellfone from somebody. It’s Interac, a big big job agency specializing in Native English speaker/teachers that goes into a city board of education and buys up all the contracts for all the schools in that city. Since I need an organization to sponsor me in six weeks or I have to leave Japan, I was excited; they have a bad reputation but they have a lot of contracts, so I could easily get a job.
I talk to the recruiter. Its mid Friday and he wants me to come in Monday. I make an appointment for the late afternoon, and feel about 10 kilos lighter as I make my way home.
(To be Continued)
05/14/2014 § Leave a comment
Did Someone Mention the Game of Thrones? I considered saying something really nasty to Auntie to get her to stop writing to me. Funny thing, Tyrion did something like that to his mistress Shea in a recent The Game of Thrones, calling her a whore so as to get her to leave the city before she got caught by the Kingsguard. This just came back to bite him in the ass this past episode. Shea is very different than the Shea in the book, who is a naive dim-witted teenager. In the book she just beds Tyrion for his wealth, but on the show she genuinely loves him. So I wondered how things would play out when he goes on trial for allegedly killing his nephew, King Joffrey. Would she betray him on the show as she betrayed him in the book? Why would she, if she genuinely loves him in the show? But dramatically, the scene in the book where Shea testifies against Tyrion is just too delicious to skip over. How would they pull it off on the show with a more genuine Shea? « Read the rest of this entry »
05/14/2014 § Leave a comment
I’m having trouble keeping up with this journal, so Im just going to write down a few of the highlights:
Stupid Letter from my Auntie! My Narci Moms twin sister; they’re both 84 going on 85. If my moms a narci, what does that make her? I dont know. Anyway, she keeps reaching out to me to come back into the fold, the whole dysfunctional mess, and when I say I dont want to she doesnt even hear it. Because she’s been pushing, I made the case in my last letter that knowing what I know about my mother, I’m carrying a burden and if she wants to keep reaching out to me she has to share it with me. Shes not having any of it. So it comes down to this, how do I ditch her? I can’t explain myself any better, she willfully doesnt want to understand my explanations, so I either have to drop something really offensive on her to scare her away, or just stop writing to her and not read her letters, without explanation. The latter way is best. But let me tell you, being reminded to what degree they all wash their hands of me is vexing. Vexing! « Read the rest of this entry »
05/11/2014 § Leave a comment
I can’t tell my friends about my job search because this isnt your normal job search.
I’m using everything Ive got to pull a broken life together. I dont need to explain my personal limitations and shortcomings to mere acquaintances and fair-weather friends who invariably think I’m just making excuses for myself. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/07/2014 § Leave a comment
My fear is suspended in ether
it justs hangs like flower-petal dust
floating, bobbing, quavering
focusing on the fear
my body remembers old hurts
avoiding the fear I forget myself
medicating in food and drink and games and music
and Hogswart and Westeros
my survival strategy
balances my fear
on the edge of disaster
Photo by Richard Gagui
05/06/2014 § Leave a comment
I would rather go running right now than go to this classical music concert, but my landlord is in the choir and Ive been planning to see this for half a year.
Mr.Nakanaka sang tenor in Carmina Burana by Carl Orff in the community orchestra choir today. It starts and ends with the song O Fortuna, for which a few years ago Rachel Maddow said it had become the theme song for a lot of apocalyptic anti-Obamacare commercials. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/04/2014 § Leave a comment
I just typed a whole journal with the modem off, and when I published it I lost it! Gotta type it all again.
Today a busy day. Leave house 8:00, Coffee shop at 9:30, Employment office at 10:00, therapist at 1, doctor at 3, all in different parts of the Tokyo Kanto Plain. « Read the rest of this entry »
05/02/2014 § Leave a comment
Today I am remembering my panic. I can’t breath. I have to breathe consciously. But when I try, I just space out and forget to breathe all over again– my ADD symptoms kick in. I go under:
On a high cliff over the sea,
A tree thinks.
One by one thoughts slip from her
deep into the icy brine, « Read the rest of this entry »